3P’s TO RESOLVE CONFLICT

Wednesday of the 19th Week in Ordinary Time Year C Matthew 18:15-20 “If your brother or sister sins against you, you should go and talk with them about the situation.” It is not easy to speak out. It is not that comfortable to correct others. They may hate us because of that. We may have enemies when we do it in a wrong way. Today’s gospel reading teaches us the right christian approach in dealing with internal conflicts with members who erred. The formula is very basic and simple. First, engage in a dialogue. Initiate a personal PRIVATE conversation between the two of you. The offended party must talk directly to the offender and have a private chat. Friends, converse but not confront. “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Guys, if you have problems and issues with your leader; go to your leader. Fix the friction and the tension. Approach and have a private conversation with your leader. If you have problem with the banana, go and talk to the banana not to the apple. You know what I mean? Our problem however is this: we ignore! We keep our distance. We skip rule number one and we proceed to step two without completing first the stage one. Friends, if you have an issues with your boss talk to your boss not to his secretary. If you have disagreement with your parish priest, talk directly to your pastor. Bringing the issue directly to a higher authority is not a healthy and charitable move. That’s unfair! This is following the law of subsidiarity. You know what, the best gift to heal our hurts and pains is a simple dialogue. For me, it is the most effective way of resolving conflict. Second, “if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.” It means look for a PARTNER to help you settle the disputes. A partner may represent a friend, an elder, an expert or someone you trusted. Folks, we are responsible for one another. Frank Clark once said: “Critism like rain should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without deatroying his roots.” Finally, if he refuses give him another chance by asking the support of the community. Bring the issue to PUBLIC and ask the wisdom of the group. Our job is to win our erring brethren back. We have to reach out and encourage them back to the faith. If we are going to bring out the best in people, we too need to sow the seeds of encouragement. Friends, train yourself to find a blessing in everything. If the the 3 P’s failed, bring it constantly to your PRAYERS! Don’t stop to win your friend back again! Blessings Fr. Jhack